A Simple Question

The following text was generated with help from Adam King’s Talk to Transformer, which talks to OpenAI’s GPT-2 neural network AI to generate paragraphs of original text one word at a time. The feature image was created using Morphogen’s Artbreeder.


Cat Dandelion

A Simple Question

Speaker A: Do you prefer cats or dogs?

Speaker B: Cats.

Speaker A: Okay. Now the next one was called the “Lord of the Keepers” or some version of that, and you will recognize the judge by the judging sign and the color of his hat.

Judge: This is Judge Anderson of the Second Judicial Circuit in Iowans. The gentlemen’s names are Jack and Gus.

Speaker A: Jack came in as the Honorable Judge Anderson, which was short for Judge Anderson, and I think the jury was a bit confused, because there was no judge and then a “J” in the middle. This trial is over, but the testimony continues. As you listen to this one, you can’t help but see the difference between evidence and a poem. Go read her poem. I bet you’ll find out what kind of animal she’s writing about.

Here’s another version of “Poor Law Lame”:

A weak man of wealth—

It’s like that in every house—

I’ll fall and at once be beaten;

Poor Law Lame I did look for—

The poor fitter he didn’t save;

Poor Law Lame, I’ve still got a rod for his back


Speaker A: Do you prefer cats or dogs?

Speaker B: I wouldn’t have a cat.

Speaker C: I like cats, and I like cats.

Speaker D: I think the dogs are more sociable.

Speaker E: I like dogs. I’ve got a few.

Speaker F: Dogs are good because they will lick you all the time.

[Laughter.]

Speaker G: I prefer cats. If I could, I’d prefer dogs. But I have a cat.

[Laughter.]

Dr. Yoshida: In general, people tend to enjoy socialization with pet dogs. But cats are probably more popular. And for people who have been exposed to both cats and dogs, there are many plants from which to choose. As a vet who treats both cats and dogs, I know the health benefits and the environmental benefits of a varied plant garden, particularly when it comes to keeping cats and dogs away. You can use your cat’s yard as a sanctuary, and your dog’s hunting grounds as prime fishing grounds.

Aside from cat-proofing your home, several simple changes can ensure your dog doesn’t go looking for a safe place to drink or explore your garden.

Two advantages of using only vegetable gardens for pets are that it saves money, and it keeps dogs and cats away from your garden. Also, it’s safer and more sanitary for all the animals living in the house and isn’t directly contributing to “smelly” smells. At a residential home, a peroxide like PureBrush is much more efficient at removing dirt than the cleaning chemicals available at commercial establishments.

Plus, you can save the 7.4 tons of water that would normally be used if you were to use commercial cleaners. Plus, there’s less energy use for the cleaning chemicals and more energy conservation because the house is just running on natural energy.

When used on a regular basis, is a cleaned slate the same as a finished clean slate? Not at all.


Speaker A: Do you prefer cats or dogs?

Speaker B: Hmm… I guess it depends on your mood.

Speaker C: My son likes their eyes on him… I know I like their paws on my neck… I’d have to say animals.

Speaker D: Have you ever had your nose touched by a spider?

Yasmin is very good at inviting the audience to engage in a dialogue, and this is particularly true of her dialogue with her co-host, Imam Zubair Hakim. She opens her self with a question:

Uzair: Have you ever thought about a law and what the law should be?

Yasmin: I don’t think anyone, especially the conservative religious people, have thought about that.


Speaker A: Do you prefer cats or dogs?

Speaker B: I’d say dogs, but they’re…there’s so much more fun things you can do with them. Cats, when they’re trained, they’re very peaceful. Dogs are like flying kites, almost. [Takes out a huge, four-foot pink bunny] Yes. They don’t get too, uh, not obedient. Like that’s the weirdest part about it. When I was in this country, I went to this pet store here in my condo that sold these things. There were all these rats.

Speaker B: And they were living in little kennels? [Bleeps]

[Laughter.]

Speaker B: They don’t have a car, and no one will look at them because they’re just hideous.

Fraser: And the numbers—the numbers we’ve seen come out, I mean in the end, we’ve just seen one of these stories that popped up. It’s an Ontario man, and he’s in a situation where he claims that the provincial government told him he’s obese, that it’s because his belly button is too fat and he’s had too many too many calories, and he has to lose weight. It’s so, so, so not true.


Speaker A: Do you prefer cats or dogs?

Speaker B: What was the worst moment of your life?

Speaker A: I was actually on tour with Nirvana when we got into a kerfuffle with one of the singer’s friends who didn’t like us and just blew a gasket on stage.

Speaker B: That’s too bad.

Speaker A: We got thrown out.

Speaker B: Who did you have the most fun partying with?

Speaker A: ‘Nirvana, OK.

Speaker B: What does the German word Schläffelwörter mean?

Speaker A: Get your hands around that. It means a quick, effective reply, or it’s my way of saying “let’s move on.”

Speaker B: Who’s your favorite villain in all the films? Who’s your favorite character in all the films?

Speaker A: I have to think about that, yeah. I’ll say The Joker. He’s not a big villain, but I think he’s one of the most memorable, the most interesting and the most undervalued villains.

Speaker B: Well, Mr. Batman, we certainly respect your opinion, I certainly am pleased to hear it. Our final question will have to be asked by…

Speaker C: I’m honored that you would agree with me.


Dr. Yoshida: And for people who have been exposed to both cats and dogs, why? There are a number of reasons, but the most common is confusion or panic.

My guess is, most people are nervous and wonder whether it’s better to be bitten by their own dog or have the occasional bite by a cat. The truth is both cats and dogs bite, but in different ways. Many people that think that they’ve been bitten by their own dog probably hadn’t been given the opportunity to play with a dog or handle a dog’s body heat. Instead they may have been attacked by a cat when they first got into the house. It is possible for any pet to bite, but it’s more likely for a cat to be the perpetrator, and most cat-bitten people learn to keep their feline friends to themselves.

First cat bites occur before 6 months of age, and it’s entirely possible for a kitten to appear to be a normal kitten, only to later bite someone. Cats can be used as a human-biting trick. For example, when a cat has escaped from an enclosure and the owner is unable to take it back out or the cat has bitten the owner. Cats will hunt for food, and some cats will even hunt for you.

Cat bites can be accidental—for example, the kitten learns that human teeth are a novel sensation, then it may try to scratch out the edges of its mouth as it plays, never realizing that his teeth are “safe” and she is not a human being. He will frequently play-bite so that no more has to be said.

If a kitten bites, and is not holding it in an effort to hold it “safe,” his mouth (or skin) will become red as he chases after the victim to bite.

The vast majority of children bitten by cats do not die. Only 6–20 percent die from the injury.

Dr. Cecilia Norris: But when you look at some of the data, there’s some evidence that the high impact and risk of injury in cat falls is actually better reported in pet cats. In other words, a higher number of all cat deaths is, on average, reported in cat falls than in dog falls.

Dr. Yoshida: We’re not aware of a lot of people reporting cat falls.

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